Night Terrors

Day 5

"You say you feel as if you're just waking up," Coucher said.  My eyes darted between him and the rug.  Where was the green?  Christ, my eyes must be dilated.  Another physical effect.  Pupils open, sunlight drowning out the colors.  Yes, that must be it.  No wonder I needed the sunglasses everywhere.  "How long would you say you've been asleep?"

A softball question.  He knew the answer; there was only one correct answer, one obvious choice.  "Well, I'd say that the last few months have been a nightmare, but I've been asleep for the last three years."  Easy.  He nodded, expecting that.  Hell, it came without a thought.  That didn't make it any less sickening.  So much time wasted.

Funny, then, that the most profound physical effect so far had been the drowsiness.  Here I was, metaphorically awake, yet exhausted all day.  Sleeping constantly, napping away the hours I couldn't occupy with more fruitful pursuits.


The dreams come during the day, pouring through the windows, sunlight and the bitter wind.  Is it colder now than during the winter?  Jumbled masses of images, feelings of loss, mundane dramas spread across an eternity, snapping awake fifteen minutes into an eternal struggle, remembering nothing, vague sense.  Was it all that important?  Returning, forgetting which side of the veil, no improbable horrors in the sleeping world, just silly mistakes, warnings, awakenings greeted by the left-on television, news of the world interspersed with pointless fluff pieces.  Bombs, celebrities, radiation.  Gravity and lightness.  America, a humming finger reaching down and touching-- No, a skewed report, no, a way to relate it to their viewers, the talking heads trumping up the role, "puff up your chests, America, we are everywhere and we are good."  How does this affect us?  Sleepers.  Let them wake up and throw off their covers.  One man's righteous is another man's wrong, so withdraw into meditation and look unto...

"What was your school like?" asked a Voice from the Desert.

"It was weird.  A small town, but the school was violent.  A real trial.  I don't regret that, I'm glad.  But things happened.  Things no kid should see, experience.  I wished I could do something, but everything seemed so helpless.  And everyone blamed everyone else.  The most lasting lesson was knowing that people have to live through that every day for the rest of their lives.  And that there were those who wouldn't, and they'd go on to turn a blind eye, too."

Never forget, some expect this ball to end.  And they hold the keys-- Rome would eat its own head.  Slaves to a foreign mythology.  Eloi eloi.